“Taking the assertiveness course was one of the best decisions I’ve made in the past year. Debilitating anxiety and low self-esteem, triggered by a substantial financial loss in my small business due to multiple client non-payment situations, forced me into conflict resolution situations

I was ill equipped to handle in my emotional state. Drugs and therapy were useful immediate tools but I knew they would be temporary solutions and that I needed to take active measures to help myself. I needed to grow in ways that would protect me in the future and help me work through what I was experiencing in the moment. It did just that and so much more.

I learned useful skills and was reminded of techniques I’d forgotten that helped me to ground, relax and communicate better while honoring myself and others. The class was well worth and effort for this alone but I gained so much more value from the course in terms of personal growth and awareness.

The most valuable lesson I learned was to give myself credit for all the things I was already doing well. The course helped me awaken to this self-knowledge and helped to reverse a downward spiral I had fallen into regarding my own worth and confidence. This was huge for me. As my confidence and worth grew, I was able to separate the experience of non-payment from it being a reflection of the value and skills I brought to my clients. I was able to see that it actually had nothing to do with my skills or worth at all. The clients had their own reasons for with-holding payment. Quite simply, they are not the honest, upstanding folks I thought them to be.

It took a few more weeks of personal work to get to the place I am today, knowing that I can be a good person and still fight for my right for payment. I signed a contract and sent off the retainer to my lawyer this morning and it feels fantastic! I know not that I can’t control the outcome and that there is a real possibility that I may not recover the monies owed to me but I’m ok with that now. That reality has not changed at all. But my relationship to it has. And that is wholly because I am taking the steps necessary to ensure I’ve done what I can to honor myself and value the hard work I’ve done. I am choosing to step into the conflict instead of shying away. I am choosing to respectfully say “No. This isn’t acceptable. I deserve to be paid for the work I’ve done.”

There is no joy in being a doormat. And while it may be a little scary to enter the unknown, there is definitely a feeling of joy knowing that I’ve got my own back this time.

Thank you, Vera, for your exceptional talent, your kindness and incredible ability to hold quiet space for the magic to happen. You truly have found your calling and I am internally grateful for the work you’ve allowed me to do with your guidance.”

~L.L